freak you out.

the thought of me becoming a somebody in the future scares me.
like, after SPM, what will i wanna do in college?
some of you might know what i'm pretty interested in right now- but, what if i don't wanna do that anymore? will i be able to find something else that's right for me?

the thought of doing the thing that i'm interested is really freaking me out.
i'm always thinking, will i be able to do this? will i be able to do that? i'm not good in this, i'm not good in that.

yeah, it's yet another conflict. =/

ironically true.

taken in the morning, on the way to school.

it's something that's so basic, yet so difficult to achieve. what is it?
trust- that's the first thing u've gotta have when u're working with someone, be in a relationship with someone, or be friends with someone.

in class, during Bio.

and nowadays, to have trust in others is like reaching for the stars. you want it so much, yet it's almost impossible to reach.
bad metaphor maybe, but you get what i mean. (:

dont u guys agree? i've encountered many problems among friends and all of 'em are related to trust.

view of school from class. CLK I CAN SEE UR CONDO FROM HERE! xD

it's so true when people say people will come and go everyday, but only true friends remain.. or sth like that la. xD

beautiful cupcake. (:

and what's worse is when some people lose trust or faith in u, they will never dare to have faith in u, even when they know how much they needed u.

his current baby, and his dream baby. if u know who i mean. xD

but some people just refuse to learn and get themselves out of those shyt. they think it's better to take no action about it, and just let it be.

that was who i used to be, but now that i realised, what's the point of it? it'll only kill the heart. (:

it's been a week.

man. i'm feeling rather tired now.
bugger i did 10 pumping! HA carmen doing pumping, how often can u get that? xD
i really enjoyed today's Scouts' activity.
although it may be tiring, and sweaty, but me likey! ;D
we did marching today, AWESOME STUFF!

ok. it's been a week without events, and i'm glad that i have time to catch up with my work, because i realised that i'm neglecting ALOT of work.
all my subject homework, and yeah basically everything. LOL.
so yeah. i'm off to do my PEKA.
and i finished my Moral project, so proud! xD

many may notice this, but very few will take a pic to remember it! xD i'm sorry mom!

primary kids practising their steps for today's talent show thingy.

look at that dude there! that's my bro weh! damn dun look like him. LOL

taken at Kampar, back in.. March. sucky pic! =[

Jamie took this for me. LOL my love for orange! xD

ok buhbye!

dig it baby.

it's only right to say goodbye,
no matter how much courage it takes not to cry.
best friends is what we call each other,
but how long can we remain, backing up for one another?

is it me or is it you?
neglection has been it to me but never to you.

maybe it's because attention was all i needed,
but u're not there to give,
being sensitive.. hell yeah that's me now,
but i guess u dun see what is it and how?

i'm scared.

i'm really starting to panic now.
thank goodness ms cheah gave us a wake up call, if not i think most of us.. or at least me will be still lazing and studying at a really slow speed.

i just realise that i'm.. yeah a bimbo for SPM. lol lets put it that way. (:
i'm clueless about most things, sometimes i don't even know what or how to handle my studies well. goodness lo, i'm really bad in certain subjects too lo. haih.

i'm really panicking now. a few of us were having like a short yumcha session with ms cheah and when ms cheah talks i really realise that goodness i really have to wake up and make myself study edi. damnnn. must go like 110km/h lo. ok la sorry crapping. :P

and pls la dun discourage me from anything that's gotta do with my studies. positive energy all the way ok. =X

DA.DA.DA.

david archuleta! D:
i didnt have tickets to go, and i'm sure my parents wouldnt allow me to go either.
the thought of me not going wasn't really bad until i went to Jamie's blog. go check it out.

DAMN. I was like frowning the whole time looking at the pics because i couldnt actually see him smile for real. :(
and when he sang the chorus from A Little Too Not Over You the other day when he had an interview with Natalie @ hitz.fm made me heart melt and I started having tears in my eyes. omgeee that kua cheong can! -but it's true. =X

to make up for my sadness, i decided to go on Youtube to go search for it because i'm that desperate for him. haaaa. of cute boys and an extremely heart melting voice, who doesnt want right?



and this doesnt mean i don't like Jay Chou already ok! :P

maybe it's the rain.

i actually envy people who can write so well.
they are so capable in expressing their feelings through writing, and it's never easy.
maybe i express my feelings by just blabbering it to my friends, but it always doesnt feel enough.
i don't usually feel completely relieved after talking on the phone just like that.

i think expressing it when u're actually facing someone makes things much better.
it actually feels so good to have a close friend, or a cousin to just hang out and talk.
i feel really happy when my close friends or even best friends comes over, even if it's just for awhile.
maybe it's when i can talk more, and just listen to others. (:

and nowadays i think that hugs can really make ppl feel better.
so yeah, give a friend a hug when he/she is in a bad mood.
someday they'll appreciate 'em. :D


ahem. i actually have this random feeling that i might just move out when i'm in college. :S

ownage baby!

BLUE HOUSE OWNEDDDDDDDDD!

yeah. but we lost for perbarisan and standard sports. =/

i feel kinda bad when i was told that we got last for perbarisan, but we're just 6 points away from the first.. so yeah, not that bad la. xD

and i didn't take many pics this year, maybe because i'm so busy over perbarisan that i actually lost the energy to take pics. ><"

i saw many things which i could take though. now starting to regret. :S

nvmmm!

i have other pics. haaa.

thanks Sam and Jing Loon for helping out! :D

our masks- Melvin's idea.

Nazri during the 4x400m.

Parent-Teacher event.

i regret resizing the pictures! T.T

of being responsible?

emonity strikes, so shuddup. :D thank u.
i'm always feeling like i'm really weak. unable to complete tasks well.
maybe i'm a perfectionist.

i so need to push myself to the limit.

a lil too not over you, really. it's been months.

thank you?

yeah. i wrote a super long post about me being thankful.
but i decided not to post it. reason? read it, CHEESY SHYT. :P

i'd just like to say thank you to those who have been there for me.
when i cry u guys will be there to advise or even scold me to wake me up from all the shyt. LOL.
when i'm happy u guys will be there to tease me and make me laugh even harder. :D
when i'm angry u guys will curse together with me or just say "oh." right after i say everything. haaa.

u know who you are! (:
THANK U!

gah.

in the com lab now.
yeah.
i just wanna cry [fullstop]
buhbye.

feeling extra frustrated.
tired.

juggle.

class in the morning.

to make up for all the wordy posts, yeah i finally decided to upload a couple of pictures. :D

what has happened to me since IU day is over?

i've actually been busy with Sports Day. omgeee carmen and sports day dun come together yo.

heck, whatever the event is, really. I suck in every one of 'em.

haaaa. except for perbarisan. :D hahaha one of the things which i'm able to at least do a better job in compared to the others. :P

PEMADAM. i've seen some of the gory videos back in BBSL.

yeah. even in perbarisan, it's TOUGH.

i'm not trying to complain about all the things that has happened last week, but really, just because deco isn't THAT important, doesn't mean we can just simply do our job.

i mean, when we agree to do something, shouldn't we put our best effort in it?

most of us in class are using SE. :D

battle of the phones. LOL. 11 SE's vs 1 Nokia. xD

but anyway, we actually got to settle things and yeah everything is running smoothly... FOR NOW. ><"

i predict that we'll be having a tough time next week.

all i can say is, to juggle with our homework and all the deco things to be finished by Thursday, is really tough.

the very kind Heng Jie bought me this bottle. love it to bits. thank u Pei Chin! :D

farris started the secondary camera thing. and so coincidentally I had my camera switched on. (:

i just hope that I can actually do my best. Sports Day is this Friday yo! -panics-

toot.

Credits to Jamie for the picture.

Despite me looking like a weirdo (omg dun believe look at my face!), I wanna thank Jamie for all the accessories, and makeup- of course the makeup is like RUINED before the show because we had to makeup in the toilet.. which was very hot in there.

yeahh. I'm not blogging about IU night yet, because I've not received any pictures yet. and videos won't be uploaded in Youtube until we update SG Interact's blog ok. :D

sigh. i'm just really tired. like really, i slept for like 2 hours just now and I'm still feeling tired and.. not in the mood.
i mean, i've got alot of things that I'm not settled with, yet i'm still here feeling like a slug.

what's wrong with me?

oh. i made up sth in BM yesterday.
kehilangan perasaan yang ingin dimiliki, hanya tertinggalnya perasaan yang tidak ingin didekati.
i feel it's weird somehow. :S